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Because It’s Madonna’s 54th Birthday

Most menopausal women experience mood swings and hot flashes.  But not Ms. Madonna Louise Ciccone. Wait…scratch that. She probably does. She’s human, after all. But she’s not about to let excessive sweating and irritability stop her from making the world fall to their knees and succumb to her domination. When she’s not heating things with a fiery song ‘n’ dance nipple-pop action at her sold-out show in Instanbul, she’s kicking it with her 25-year-old French break dancer boyfriend Brahim.  She’s made out with a black Jesus, worn a cone bra designed by Jean Paul Gaultier, emulated Marilyn Monroe in Gentleman Prefer Blondes, covered her forehead and hand with henna tattoos and holds the unofficial record for humping and rolling around on a stage. She’s dated Warren Beatty, John F. Kennedy Jr., Vanilla Ice, Dennis Rodman, A-Rod and countless others, including  women. (I’m not implying that she gets around.  She’s just…ahem, *friendly.*) She married two brilliant men–Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie. She wrote a softcore porn book called Sex and authored a series of children’s books, which included The English Roses. Whether you like her or not—as a person, singer, songwriter, dancer or actress—you’ve got to admit, the woman has secured her position amongst the music aristocracy. Hopefully, she takes some time out today from conquering the world to enjoy a birthday cocktail and/or something that fits within her macrobiotic diet.

In honor of her birthday , here are my six favorite Madonna videos and live performances:

Vogue

Like a Virgin 

Express Yourself 

Erotica

Deeper and Deeper

Ray of Light

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Let’s Get the Pineapple Drunk

I had pineapple-infused vodka for the first time at the bar/restaurant that was in the space where Bar*Food is now on Wilshire in West Los Angeles.   While I’m not a huge fan of pineapple (too sweet), I am a huge fan of vodka. So, at an after-work happy hour, I gave it a shot.  It was love at first sip. Smooth, not too sweet and and incredibly refreshing!  It was so delectable that I vowed to someday try to create this libation at home.  And now, that day has come.  The recent LA heat wave has inspired me to get a pineapple sloshed, and I will share this recipe with you.  Here is the step-by-step guide on how to make Pineapple Infused Vodka.  

1) You’ll need a good-sized pineapple–or two, if you want to double the recipe, a 750 ML of your favorite vodka,  (Note: If you double the recipe and are the proud holder of a BevMo card, you can buy a 1.75 LTR of Stoli there for $22.98 this month) and a glass jar with a wide mouth that has a seal to make it airtight.

2) Cut the pineapple into flat, brick-like pieces–like the size of frozen fish sticks.

3) Stack these pieces like bricks around the edge of the jar, but leave the middle open.

4) Fill the jar with vodka, making sure that the pineapple is completely covered and not exposed to air.

5) Put on the airtight lid and keep the jar in a darker place that’s not exposed to direct sunlight. Let it sit there for 10 days–no more, no less.

6) On the tenth day, strain the vodka with a mesh strainer into larger flasks or back into the original vodka bottle.

7) Fill a shaker with ice, add the vodka, pour and shake into martini glasses.

8) Drink up, buttercup!  Ahhh…once it hits your lips, it’s so good!

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In Memoriam: Jani Lane

Warrant frontman/lead vocalist Jani Lane passed away a year ago today. This was his band’s best-known song and the #1 choice for hair band-loving strippers.

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Listen Up: The Brian Jonestown Massacre’s “Wisdom”

This gorgeous song came out in 1995 from San Francisco band The Brian Jonestown Massacre. If you let it sink in, you may find Anton Newcombe’s alleviating voice and Dean Taylor’s moody guitar sending you into a sonic stupor.

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Tomorrow: Downtown Summer Party at Down & Out and Coronados

Take a break from watching the Olympics, and catch some amazing bands play in Downtown LA for FREE.  I’m DJing at Down & Out after 5 pm.

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Because It’s Will Ferrell’s Birthday

Will Ferrell makes me poop in my pants. That’s how funny I think he is. From his SNL impressions of George Bush, Robert Goulet and Alex Trebek to his classic roles as Frank “The Tank” in Old School, Ron Burgundy in Anchorman and many more, he consistently exponentiates the laughs in everything he touches—no matter how big or small. In honor of today being his 45th birthday, here are my top six (I couldn’t pick just five) favorite Will Ferrell moments:

On SNL with Queens of the Stone Age

Note: It breaks my heart that I couldn’t find a compatible video to post of Will Ferrell as Gene Frenkle playing the cowbell onstage during Queens of the Stone Age’s SNL performance.  Here’s proof that it happened, though.  And you can watch the full video here.

As Frank “The Tank” in Old School

Horse tranquilizers and swimming pools are dangerous, kids.

As Ron Burgundy in Anchorman

It all started with a bean and cheese burrito…

As Brennan Huff in Stepbrothers

He’s the songbird of his generation…

As Big Earl on Starsky & Hutch

Looks like someone has a thing for dragons…and Owen Wilson.

As Chazz Reinhold on Wedding Crashers

There’s just something about a man in a silk kimono. The ladies can’t keep their hands off of him!

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You Had Me At ‘Special Sauce’

You may find this a little heartbreaking, but I had never had a Big Mac until about four months ago. I’m not sure why it had taken me this long to try one. The fact that it’s not the healthiest menu item probably had lot to do with it. Still, you’d think at least one long night of vodka-swilling would have led me to the Golden Arches. Nope.

After being convinced that my Big Mac-less existence was horribly tragic, I finally tried one. Of course, my foray into this palatable pleasure nestled between two seeded buns equaled instant infatuation. Sure, I could blame it on the divine complexity of room-temperature iceberg lettuce and warm questionable beef patties. But really, it was all about special sauce. What makes it so special? Crack.

You could probably put this special sauce on anything, and it would transform it into something amazing. But seriously, what the hell is in it?? As part of a PR campaign for McDonald’s Canada designed to convince people that McDonald’s meals are just as good as something you’d make at home, they released the video below that reveals the secret of the sauce, as well as the rest of the burger. The clip features McDonald’s Executive Chef [sounds like an oxymoron] Dan Coudreaut making a homemade Big Mac, from start to finish. So now, you, too, can experience Big Mac bliss without having to leave your apartment. Note: If you miss the experience of being inside McD’s restaurant, perhaps you can convince a loved one to dress up as Grimace.  

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Listen Up: Eminem & Nate Dogg’s “‘Till I Collapse”

This song is from Eminem’s 2002 critically-acclaimed album The Eminem Show. It’s also featured on the teaser trailer for the new Oliver Stone film SavagesI guess I’ve seen the trailer too much lately–because now, I can’t get this song out of my head.

P.S. Salma Hayek seems pretty bad-ass in this flick.  Oh, and Blake Lively plays the girlfriend.  Go figure.

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Two Sticks and Extra Chocolate? Is It Mardi Gras?

If you lived for Gob’s magic tricks, Lindsey’s self-absorbed attempts at charity work, Buster’s secret affair with Lucille Austero, George-Michael’s not-so-secret crush on his cousin and never-nude Tobias’ stint as a Blue Man, you should check out Gallery 1988’s latest art opening, “There’s Always Money In the Banana Stand,” a tribute to Arrested Development.  It’s comedic brilliance translated into inventive, offbeat mixed media pieces by fan-artists.  The show opens Friday, June 29th and runs through July 27th.

Gallery 1988 7020 Melrose Avenue  Los Angeles, CA 90048

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The Young Royals: Some Like It Loud

The Young Royals deliver a head rush of rock ‘n’ roll.  We’re talking gut-punch lyrics, reeling guitar riffs and melodies that stick. You want heavy?  These guys are the real deal.  Catch them tomorrow night at the House of Blues, opening for Steel Panther. In the meantime, here’s a morsel to tide you over.

The Young Royals @ House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA, 9 pm